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Author Topic: Jupiter Ascending (2015)  (Read 38 times)

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Mac

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Jupiter Ascending (2015)
« on: February 26, 2016, 02:45:54 pm »
Review to come...
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Neumatic

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Re: Jupiter Ascending (2015)
« Reply #1 on: February 26, 2016, 03:17:18 pm »
Man, this is the movie that made me swear off going to the cinema except for truly special occasions.  Don't get me wrong, this movie LOOKED amazing on the big screena nd in 3D, but it was also a total parts movie and gave me so many ideas that I was miserable in the theater, I wanted to pause the movie and take down notes and screencaps.  Meaning I had to suffer through the flick again when it came out on blu-ray (though the blu-ray release and the version on HBO have terrible picture quality, the explosions in the "superman" sequence become so fragmented and poinillized it feels like a Tron Legacy effect).

The movie also kept making me think of two other properties: Stargate and Dune.  All the beautiful, ornate spaceships and costumes... totally Dune in the best possible way.  Much like the actual movie Dune used sets and material built for an entirely different version of that movie, this felt like they were using pre-viz from a Dune remake and just filming their movie with it.  And Stargate?  Well, well, the Aegis ship in particular reminded me of the ships from SG-1 (when they dock and Mila "beams" down, my mind put in the "whomping ring" effect from said flick), and the aliens being treated as Gods and crushing mankind underfoot?  Totally Stargate.

But oh man, the big issue with the movie for me?  How uneven the approach was.  I'm sure I mentioned this before, but do you remember the original Matrix?  Every scene, from an action set piece or a visual effect to two people sitting in a room talking, was treated with the same amount of care and attention to detail.  Every scene became watchable and compelling because they made every scene watchable and compelling, even if what they were saying made no sense.  This movie?  There were intensively done scenes, but then there are dialogue scenes (like after Mila gets her hand stamped) or the bee talk where it feels so pedestrian, something any director could do, that it's a pain to watch, and worse, you started thinking ahead.  I knew the exact second the wall was going to blow out behind Sean Bean.  That's REAL bad, that destroys your immersion in a flick.

And sh1t was just too complicated.  I get that they were going for a big "all humanity is connected and life is sacred and greed can destroy it" thing going on, but the movie should be simple.  It's a fairy tale with sci fi elements.  It's the Princess Bride meets Star Wars.  One of the lowest rungs of people on Earth is secretly it's owner and protector, a twist on the Princess and the Pauper.  Every time they get away from that, or try to make it more complex or push their "message," it gets needlessly convoluted.  They didn't need to keep going into the DNA resurrection.  They didn't need all the family members, that was complicated and gratuitous.  It should have been simple.  Like The Matrix.  For all the complex theories and twists on humanity that people started to obsess about in the original Matrix, the narrative was incredibly straightforward.

Chiprocks1

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Re: Jupiter Ascending (2015)
« Reply #2 on: February 26, 2016, 04:02:04 pm »

When I first saw the trailer way back when it came out, I was marginally interested. Kinda. Not really. My perception of what Jupiter Ascending would be; turned out to be exactly what I thought: complete garbage. This movie is a total time waster and not in a good way. Yes, Jupiter Ascending has a lot of eye candy, but The Wachowski's even manage to f*ck that up as well. The character and set design was so poorly done that never at any time could I distinguish between the foreground and the background. Everything looked the same and just blended into one giant pile of sh*t. Also, even if they managed to put some thought into and created distinct and contrasting imagery, be it the characters or the Set pieces, it still would have amounted to nothing given the fact that the editing was absolutely horrible in every action scene. I can handle the MTV editing that dominates most flicks these days. Not a problem. They just went above and beyond the norm here with no forethought to pacing which ironically enough did the opposite of wowing me. It bored me to tears.

Now this is all the "Good Stuff" in the movie!!! The Bad Stuff is definitely the story. What a f*cking joke this turned out to be. It made no f*cking sense whatsoever. I just got finished watching the movie this morning and I still don't know what the f*ck was happening. The characters themselves were beyond boring. They were stupid. They were cardboard cutouts and don't even get me started on their characterizations and motivations. Seriously, who would ever act and react in the manner that Mila Kunis' character does when learning she "owns" planet Earth? She was so matter of fact about it that whatever came afterward was completely irrelevant. The one thing the movie did manage to do was elicit laughter from me whenever Eddie Redmayne uttered his lines in that stupid, monotone voice or whatever the f*ck he was going for. This is LOL stuff. Awful. What a joke of a performance. Look, I was a fan of The Wachowski's at one time back in the late 90's, but they have not made anything worthwhile in 16 years. They are nothing more than M. Night Shyamalan's in a pod and should just go away. As for the movie. SKIP!! FYI, I'm really surprised that Channing Tatum  career survived this turkey.
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Neumatic

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Re: Jupiter Ascending (2015)
« Reply #3 on: February 26, 2016, 05:12:10 pm »
I think C-Tates survived this because his personality shined through in the Jump Street flicks and his seriousness came through in the first Magic Mike.  He proved himself more than, say, a Sam Worthington or a Jai Courtney.

Besides, Mila had it worse because of the exchange: "I'm like a dog to you." "I love dogs."  Which is the line that everyone remembers and quotes?  Mila's.  So she's got the forefront in the mental landscape.

I'm more curious to see what's happening to Mila after this.  C-Tates can make more goofball comedies as the big lovable well-meaning oaf, or dress up like Beyonce and dance.  What's Mila's next role gonna be?

Eddie Redmayne is the only one who seems like he was having fun with the movie, he knew what he was in and he owned it, whispering every single line except one.

And I don't remember ANY of the other cast members.  Well, maybe Vanessa Kirby because of that lingerie scene, I made a note of that.  But the woman who lived on what looked EXACTLY like Asgard from the Thor movies?  No clue.  The other family members?  The crew of the Aegis?  Drawing a blank.

It feels like the Wachowskis have forgotten how to feel like an audience while making this, there doesn't seem to be any consideration for the people watching their movies, and it's felt this way for a while.  I think Sense8 and Cloud Atlas avoided that by having people they were collaborating with, so they got to experience the work and had an audience as they were creating.  Their other movies don't really get that, and I think they suffer for it.

Mac

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Re: Jupiter Ascending (2015)
« Reply #4 on: February 27, 2016, 12:21:59 pm »
I'm with ya Chip... hated everything about this.
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