Buy, Rent or Skip After Earth?


Author Topic: After Earth (2013)  (Read 103 times)

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After Earth (2013)
« on: May 12, 2016, 10:06:43 pm »

Worst. Movie. Ever. It has taken a long time for any movie to crack my personal Top 3 of movies I consider to be the absolute shittiest and After Earth now sits at the very top of my list. I passed on seeing this numerous times and I did hear a lot of bad things about it. But beyond that, I shut my mind off and just forgot all about it. But with nothing else at my Library to check out, I reluctantly went ahead and pulled it from the rack and did the unthinkable. I willing watched a Jaden Smith flick. Big mistake. This movie was beyond boring. It's pointless. Seriously, the plot is so dumbed down that it's literally a 2 hour flick getting from Point A to Point B through the wilderness. That's it. That's all there is to it. Sure, we are suppose to see and believe that Jaden's character is somehow going to morph from a geeky, awkward kid into a badass by the end, which itself was also painfully predictable. But nothing really happens other than running into the occasional oversize animal.

Beyond the lame "story" is some pretty horrific acting by Jaden. But he is so bad that I actually found myself laughing throughout the movie. It's really hard to contain that emotion when you see him "acting". He is so bad that I actually thought maybe he was doing a parody. Nope. It's legit awful. Cringe-inducing. But as bad as he is in this, I thought Will Smith was even worse. I don't know how he came to the conclusion to read the lines that he does, but working with his son neutered him. Embarrassing doesn't even begin to describe how awful he is. With Jaden, I was able to laugh out loud, with Will, I was bored beyond tears. Jaden gets a pass because he's not an actor of merit. He sucks. Will on the other hand does not get a pass because he has a long track record of doing quality work.

So, bad acting and bad story....anything else? Yeah, horrible direction. You know, it was maybe 20 minutes into the flick when it dawned on me that I was possibly watching a M. Night Shyamalan film. Either it was him or some UCLA Film Student that thinks he is the bees knees and was purposely trying to emulate his writing/direction style. Sure enough, it's another train wreck by Night. Horribly shot and edited. FX was weak. I kept thinking while this movies slogged onward, I wondered what was going through the minds of everyone on set when they were checking the dallies every day.

Jaden: I hate you dad. I look stupid and now the entire world is going to know "I'm not an actor"!!!!!

Will: My God, what have I done to my own acting career? Man, I really suck in this movie.

M Night: I'm f*cked......again.

Craft Service Guy: Nepotism is awesome! I don't care if Will and Jada are trying to force Jaden onto the world. I'm getting paid and stealing these sandwiches to take home after work.

So, in the simplest way possible. Avoid this piece of sh*t movie. It's really bad. Penny Can has been active since 2011 and I have never ever once given a movie 0 Stars. Even if I get all the way through a flick, I will give it 1 Star. This one doesn't even deserve that. So yeah, this is a definite Skip. Stay way from this at all cost.
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Michael Scott To Meredith: "You've slept with so many men, your starting to look like one. BOOM! Roasted! Go here.

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Re: After Earth (2013)
« Reply #1 on: May 13, 2016, 03:34:05 am »
This is a clear winner of bad at its best.
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Re: After Earth (2013)
« Reply #2 on: May 13, 2016, 11:00:17 am »
No interest in seeing this.  I can't even imagine it making a good parts movie.  Not worth my precious time on this planet.


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