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Author Topic: Glorious Wins...  (Read 2279 times)

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Mac

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Re: Glorious Wins...
« Reply #75 on: May 12, 2013, 08:25:27 pm »
This is pretty damn cool

The Most Awesome Craigslist Ad



Quote


    Grab a paper bag, breathe into it and calm your ass down. You're hyperventilating because you ain't never seen a deal like this before. Now collect yourself, then keep reading this incredible description that barely serves to do justice to my 2010 Felt Gridlock 3 speed fixed gear bike. Yes 3 SPEED FIXED GEAR. Also known as the greatest bike the city has ever had the privilege of existing around.

    What makes this bike so much better than every other bike that has ever been pedaled? Glad you asked. It starts with the paint scheme. It looks like Iron Man if Iron Man were a bike. That's bold, son. Curb appeal. It's probably also why some piece of trash stole the front tire that originally came with this beauty. Why didn't he steal the whole bike? Because he knew he wasn't man enough. That's ok, I replaced it with something that looks even more boss. The next thing is the genuine leather seat. My taint has had a love/hate relationship with this particular bit of the machine. But it's got those swanky brass rivets so I can't stay mad that it smashed my prostate and has likely rendered fatherhood impossible. But let's face it, I'd rather have have a bike than a kid.

    What else? Let's talk about that three speed in-the-hub, fixed-gear transmission for a second. It's as gnarly as it is exotic. Like the tropical, saw-toothed platypus. Which is a species that does't even exist. Fortunately this crazy ass hub does. It offers 3 speeds, as the name implies. It also offers a terrific chance to introduce that dome of yours to the asphalt if you sleep for one single second on this beotch. So don't trip. Ride safe. Get a helmet and if you've never ridden a fixed gear bike, maybe it's time to move along, young sir because this back tire doesn't flip flop and it doesn't offer any respite. What this bike does offer is a one-way ticket to legits-ville. Find a bowling ball. Then find another one. Your nuts must be at least that big to even consider making this whip the dreamiest object to ever take up too much space in your tiny ass apartment. But you'll be filled with joy once you throw a leg over this flawless piece of American-made* cycling excellence.

    What else? Ryan, the paint's a little dinged up. Yeah, well, that's called real life. It comes at you fast, bro. Besides, you really want this glimmering, shimmering sex machine catching the eye of some small time thief? I already told you what happened to the tire. You really don't want to be living your own version of PeeWee's big adventure. Consider the lived-in feel a natural crime deterrent. If this bike were denim jeans, it'd be called "de-stressed" and you'd be paying extra for the privilege. I'm not gonna charge you extra for it, though. Cause I'm not trying to take advantage of you. But you should take advantage of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

    But, aren't you sad about selling the greatest bike on earth? No. When you ride this bike once it permanently eliminates your ability to feel sad about anything ever again. Even for little puppies who are afraid to walk down the stairs, because the stairs...they're so big, and they're so little. Puppies who are young, but have already discovered the world to be a cold, unforgiving place. But you won't give a **** about it because you'll be on your awesome new bike living the dream.

    Ryan, is that a toilet in the background? Yes. Why? Because this bike is the sheeyit. And you've just learned something else about me. That's right, my name is Ryan. And your name is lucky motherfather if you make the best choice of your life and pay me cold, hard cash for this ridiculous ride.

    *Felt bikes are imported from Taiwan. Sorry to burst your bubble, homie, but globalization has been restructuring the way products get manufactured and sold since the 80's. Some believe it's eroding the American middle class. If you're the last to know, sorry for party rocking. Read "The World Is Flat." Form an opinion. Joint the dialog. By the way, the book is like 12 years old so this shouldn't be news. It's messed up, but we didn't start the fire. No we didn't light it, but we tried to fight it. Now buy this bitchin' ass bike.
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Chiprocks1

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Re: Glorious Wins...
« Reply #76 on: May 12, 2013, 08:32:35 pm »
Hahahahahaha. I love creative sheeyit like this. Awesome!
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Michael Scott To Meredith: "You've slept with so many men, your starting to look like one. BOOM! Roasted! Go here.

Chiprocks1

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Re: Glorious Wins...
« Reply #77 on: May 23, 2013, 09:08:29 am »
Fans Cheer Soccer Star's Young Son as He Scores Adorable Goal

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7WFNv-8A10

This.

Is.

Awesome!!!
Chip's Rockin' Art
Michael Scott To Meredith: "You've slept with so many men, your starting to look like one. BOOM! Roasted! Go here.

Mac

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Re: Glorious Wins...
« Reply #78 on: June 05, 2013, 09:55:05 am »
This is semi-political, but more of just a win in respect

Michelle Obama Has No Patience for Hecklers



Quote
Two weeks ago, President Obama was heckled by anti-war protester Medea Benjamin during a speech about drones and national security. The president handled it respectfully enough, acknowledging Benjamin and saying her “voice...is worth paying attention to.” Tuesday evening, Michelle Obama faced a similar situation when her speech during a Democratic Party fundraiser was interrupted by activist Ellen Sturtz from LGBT rights group GetEqual. The First Lady's response was...not quite as graceful as her husband's two weeks ago.

The Washington Post reports Obama paused her speech and confronted Sturtz “eye to eye”:

    “One of the things that I don’t do well is this,” she said to applause from most of the guests, according to a White House transcript. “Do you understand?”

    A pool report from a reporter in the room said Obama “left the lectern and moved over to the protester.” The pool report quoted Obama as saying: “Listen to me or you can take the mic, but I’m leaving. You all decide. You have one choice.”


The crowd immediately began to shout that they wanted the First Lady to stay, and a woman seated near Sturtz told her, “You need to go!”

Sturtz was escorted out, reportedly shouting that she was a “…lesbian looking for federal equality before I die.”

In an interview after the speech, Sturtz told the Washington Post she was caught off guard by the Obama's response.

    “She came right down in my face,” Sturtz said. “I was taken aback.”

Sturtz's protest called for President Obama to sign an executive order that would prohibit contractors from discriminating based on sexual orientation or idenity. “I said I want your husband to sign the executive order,” Sturtz said. “Her husband could sign this order tonight and protect 22 percent of the work force in this country.”
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Chiprocks1

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Re: Glorious Wins...
« Reply #79 on: June 20, 2013, 07:12:25 pm »
Hearing for the First Time

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcvzsSyuMRk

Love this.  :)
Chip's Rockin' Art
Michael Scott To Meredith: "You've slept with so many men, your starting to look like one. BOOM! Roasted! Go here.

Chiprocks1

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Re: Glorious Wins...
« Reply #80 on: June 25, 2013, 09:50:00 am »
Channing Tatum's Amazing 45-Second Handshake With Joey King

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCN5kLr6G8s

This

Is

AWESOME!!
Chip's Rockin' Art
Michael Scott To Meredith: "You've slept with so many men, your starting to look like one. BOOM! Roasted! Go here.

Mac

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Re: Glorious Wins...
« Reply #81 on: June 25, 2013, 10:19:09 am »
Ok, that was... uh, hmmmmm
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Mac

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Re: Glorious Wins...
« Reply #82 on: July 02, 2013, 09:39:40 am »
This is great....

Sarcastic Complaint Letter To Caribbean Airlines

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyStW5sUjkc
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Chiprocks1

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Re: Glorious Wins...
« Reply #83 on: July 12, 2013, 11:45:28 pm »
Actress Leah Remini Breaks Free From Scientology

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cq2T1n5jEnA

The title says it all. Win. baby!
Chip's Rockin' Art
Michael Scott To Meredith: "You've slept with so many men, your starting to look like one. BOOM! Roasted! Go here.

Mac

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Re: Glorious Wins...
« Reply #84 on: July 15, 2013, 09:42:43 am »
Everybody wins...

Dave Matthews breaks down on bicycle, gets a ride to his concert from fan




Quote
A woman on her way to see the Dave Matthews Band perform in Hershey, Pa., on Saturday stopped her car to help a stranded bicyclist — and in the process saved the very rock show she was going to see.

Emily Kraus and her boyfriend, Joe, were already running late when they noticed a man on the side of the road. When they pulled over to help, it was none other than Dave Matthews.

The singer was out for a pre-concert bike ride when he got a flat tire, and he didn't have a cell phone to call for help. Kraus happened to have a bike rack on her car, and she told local TV station CBS 21 that Joe helped Matthews load his bike while she held his helmet.

Matthews then got in the car and rode with the couple to the concert. The three made small talk about his tour, and Kraus told CBS 21 that the rocker was very humble. He later invited Emily and Joe to dinner, had them visit backstage and gave them front-row seats for his show.

During the concert, Matthews made mention of the whole ordeal and the "nice lady named Emily" in the red car who gave him a ride to the gig.

In reply to a photo posted on CBS 21's Facebook page, Kraus said she has been listening to the Dave Matthews Band since she was 9 years old. "All the planets aligned last night — something greater then I'll ever be able to comprehend," she wrote, adding later, "My cheeks still hurt from smiling, giggling and laughing all night long ... this will always be remembered."
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Chiprocks1

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Re: Glorious Wins...
« Reply #85 on: July 15, 2013, 09:47:24 am »
That is awesome! Now if I could be so lucky to save Kristen Bell on the side of the road. Or Summer Glau...or Kaley Cuoco;D
Chip's Rockin' Art
Michael Scott To Meredith: "You've slept with so many men, your starting to look like one. BOOM! Roasted! Go here.

Mac

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Re: Glorious Wins...
« Reply #86 on: July 15, 2013, 10:53:48 am »
Keep dreamin
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Chiprocks1

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Re: Glorious Wins...
« Reply #87 on: July 16, 2013, 12:05:56 pm »
Dave Matthews Gets Ride to Concert: Fans Help Out Stranded Singer

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mncHCZ-TOO0

A follow up to Mac's posting....
Chip's Rockin' Art
Michael Scott To Meredith: "You've slept with so many men, your starting to look like one. BOOM! Roasted! Go here.

Mac

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Re: Glorious Wins...
« Reply #88 on: July 26, 2013, 10:19:44 am »
The video needs no words... except just plain cool

Rio for Real! Fly with a bird


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pd5BMP_41bI
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Chiprocks1

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Re: Glorious Wins...
« Reply #89 on: July 26, 2013, 03:19:48 pm »
Any shots in that video showing the beach below the Hang-glider is Blacks Beach and the grass on the edge of the cliff off to the right is Torrey Pines Golf Course, which is just a 10 minute drive from here. Both are one and the same.
« Last Edit: July 26, 2013, 03:21:30 pm by Chiprocks1 »
Chip's Rockin' Art
Michael Scott To Meredith: "You've slept with so many men, your starting to look like one. BOOM! Roasted! Go here.

 

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