Author Topic: Life's Lessons  (Read 958 times)

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Mac

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Re: Life's Lessons
« Reply #15 on: February 19, 2013, 10:11:15 am »
Very true words...
Believe in Yourself
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Mac

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Re: Life's Lessons
« Reply #16 on: March 26, 2013, 05:09:27 am »
8 Wake-Up Calls You Need to Receive

1.  You might not have tomorrow to say, “I love you.”

About a decade ago a coworker of mine died in a car accident.  During his funeral several people from the office were in tears, saying kind things like: “I loved him.  We all loved him so much.  He was such a wonderful person.”  I started crying too, and I wondered if these people had told him that they loved him while he was alive, or whether it was only with death that this powerful word, love, had been used without question or hesitation.

I vowed to myself then and there that I would never again hesitate to speak up to the people I love and remind them of how much I appreciate them.  They deserve to know they give meaning to my life.  They deserve to know I think the world of them.
Bottom line:  If you love someone today, tell them.  If you appreciate someone today, tell them.  There might not be a tomorrow.  Today is the day to express your love and admiration. 

2.  Your judgments of others are inaccurate.
You will never know exactly what another person is going through or what their whole story is.  When you believe you do, realize that your assumptions about their life are in direct relation to your limited perspective.

Many people you believe to be successful are extremely unhappy.  Many people you think have it easy worked their tail off achieve what they have.  Many people who appear to be wealthy are in debt because of their extravagant tastes for material possessions.  Many people who appear to you to be old and uncool were once every bit as young and hip and inexperienced as you.

3.  Not trying is why most people fail.
It’s not the mistakes and failures you have to worry about, it’s the opportunities you miss when you don’t even try that hurt you the most.  Trying always leads to success regardless of the outcome.  Even mistakes and failures teach you what not to do next time.  Thus, every outcome is a lesson that makes you stronger and wiser.

In the end, there’s only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the failure to try.  The results you achieve are not based on what you plan to do or what you say you’ll do.  Your results come from what you actually TRY and DO.

4.  Patience does not mean waiting and doing nothing.
Patience involves productive activity.  It means doing your very best with the resources available to you, while understanding that the results you seek are worth the required time and effort, and not available elsewhere for any less time and effort.

Patience is the realization that the quality of your life is much more significant than the quantity of things you fill it with.  Patience is your willingness to accept and appreciate what you have right now, while you put forth a steady, focused effort into growing toward your dreams and goals. 

5.  You don’t need anything more to be happy.
Intuitively, you already know that the best stuff in life isn’t stuff at all, and that relationships, experiences and meaningful work are the staples of a happy, fulfilling life.  Yet you live in a consumer driven society where your mind is incessantly subjected to clever advertising ploys that drive you, against your better judgment, to buy material goods you don’t need or even want.

At a certain point, the needless material objects you buy crowd out the emotional needs advertisers would like you to believe they are meant to support.  So next time you’re getting ready to make an impulsive purchase, ask yourself if this thing is really better than the things you already have.  Or have you been momentarily tricked into believing that you’re dissatisfied with what you already have?

6.  You aren’t perfect, and neither is anyone else.
All humans are imperfect.  At times, the confident lose confidence, the patient misplace their patience, the generous act selfish, and the knowledgeable second guess what they know.

And guess what?  You’re human and so am I – we all are.  We make mistakes, we lose our tempers, and we get caught off guard.  We stumble, we slip, and we spin out of control sometimes.

But that’s the worst of it; we all have our moments.  Most of the time we’re remarkable.  So stand beside the people you love through their trying times of imperfection, and offer yourself the same courtesy; if you aren’t willing to, you don’t deserve to be around for the perfect moments either.

7.  All the small things make a big difference.
Life isn’t about a single moment of great triumph and attainment.  It’s about the trials and errors that get you there – the blood, sweat, and tears – the small, inconsequential things you do every day.  It all matters in the end – every step, every regret, every decision, and every affliction.
The seemingly useless happenings add up to something.  The minimum wage job you had in high school.  The evenings you spent socializing with coworkers you never see anymore.  The hours you spent writing thoughts on a personal blog that no one reads.  Contemplations about elaborate future plans that never came to be.  All those lonely nights spent reading novels and news columns and comics strips and fashion magazines and questioning your own principles on life and sex and religion and whether or not you’re good enough just the way you are.

All of this has strengthened you.  All of this has led you to every success you’ve ever had.   All of this has made you who you are today. 

8.  Excuses are lies.
Make no mistake, there is always a lie lingering in between a dream and too many excuses.  And the lie is you lying to yourself.
The excuses and explanations won’t do you any good.  They won’t add any value to your life or improve the quality of it by even the slightest margin.  To fulfill your calling and get where you wish to go in life requires more than just thinking and talking.  These feats require focused and sustained action.  And the good news is, you’re perfectly capable of taking whatever actions are necessary.  You just have to choose to actually do it.

No one else can succeed for you on your behalf.  The life you live is the life you build for yourself.  There are so many possibilities to choose from, and so many opportunities for you to bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be.  Now is the moment to actually step forward.

Believe in Yourself
Because the rest of us think you're an idiot.

Chiprocks1

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Re: Life's Lessons
« Reply #17 on: March 26, 2013, 06:40:20 am »
All great advice.
Chip's Rockin' Art
Michael Scott To Meredith: "You've slept with so many men, your starting to look like one. BOOM! Roasted! Go here.

Mac

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Re: Life's Lessons
« Reply #18 on: May 22, 2013, 06:10:48 am »
4 short stories that may change you life...

Story #1:  All the Difference in The World

Every Sunday morning I take a light jog around a park near my home.  There’s a lake located in one corner of the park.  Each time I jog by this lake, I see the same elderly woman sitting at the water’s edge with a small metal cage sitting beside her.

This past Sunday my curiosity got the best of me, so I stopped jogging and walked over to her.  As I got closer, I realized that the metal cage was in fact a small trap.  There were three turtles, unharmed, slowly walking around the base of the trap.  She had a fourth turtle in her lap that she was carefully scrubbing with a spongy brush.

“Hello,” I said.  “I see you here every Sunday morning.  If you don’t mind my nosiness, I’d love to know what you’re doing with these turtles.”

She smiled.  “I’m cleaning off their shells,” she replied.  “Anything on a turtle’s shell, like algae or scum, reduces the turtle’s ability to absorb heat and impedes its ability to swim.  It can also corrode and weaken the shell over time.”
“Wow!  That’s really nice of you!” I exclaimed.

She went on: “I spend a couple of hours each Sunday morning, relaxing by this lake and helping these little guys out.  It’s my own strange way of making a difference.”

“But don’t most freshwater turtles live their whole lives with algae and scum hanging from their shells?” I asked.
“Yep, sadly, they do,” she replied.

I scratched my head.  “Well then, don’t you think your time could be better spent?  I mean, I think your efforts are kind and all, but there are fresh water turtles living in lakes all around the world.  And 99% of these turtles don’t have kind people like you to help them clean off their shells.  So, no offense… but how exactly are your localized efforts here truly making a difference?”

The woman giggled aloud.  She then looked down at the turtle in her lap, scrubbed off the last piece of algae from its shell, and said, “Sweetie, if this little guy could talk, he’d tell you I just made all the difference in the world.”

The moral:  You can change the world – maybe not all at once, but one person, one animal, and one good deed at a time.  Wake up every morning and pretend like what you do makes a difference.  It does.

Story #2:  The Weight of the Glass

Once upon a time a psychology professor walked around on a stage while teaching stress management principles to an auditorium filled with students.  As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the typical “glass half empty or glass half full” question.  Instead, with a smile on her face, the professor asked, “How heavy is this glass of water I’m holding?”
Students shouted out answers ranging from eight ounces to a couple pounds.

She replied, “From my perspective, the absolute weight of this glass doesn’t matter.  It all depends on how long I hold it.  If I hold it for a minute or two, it’s fairly light.  If I hold it for an hour straight, its weight might make my arm ache a little.  If I hold it for a day straight, my arm will likely cramp up and feel completely numb and paralyzed, forcing me to drop the glass to the floor.  In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it feels to me.”

As the class shook their heads in agreement, she continued, “Your stresses and worries in life are very much like this glass of water.  Think about them for a while and nothing happens.  Think about them a bit longer and you begin to ache a little.  Think about them all day long, and you will feel completely numb and paralyzed – incapable of doing anything else until you drop them.”

The moral:  It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses and worries.  No matter what happens during the day, as early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down.  Don’t carry them through the night and into the next day with you.  If you still feel the weight of yesterday’s stress, it’s a strong sign that it’s time to put the glass down.
 
Story #3:  Shark Bait
During a research experiment a marine biologist placed a shark into a large holding tank and then released several small bait fish into the tank.

As you would expect, the shark quickly swam around the tank, attacked and ate the smaller fish.
The marine biologist then inserted a strong piece of clear fiberglass into the tank, creating two separate partitions. She then put the shark on one side of the fiberglass and a new set of bait fish on the other.

Again, the shark quickly attacked.  This time, however, the shark slammed into the fiberglass divider and bounced off.  Undeterred, the shark kept repeating this behavior every few minutes to no avail.  Meanwhile, the bait fish swam around unharmed in the second partition.  Eventually, about an hour into the experiment, the shark gave up.

This experiment was repeated several dozen times over the next few weeks.  Each time, the shark got less aggressive and made fewer attempts to attack the bait fish, until eventually the shark got tired of hitting the fiberglass divider and simply stopped attacking altogether.
The marine biologist then removed the fiberglass divider, but the shark didn’t attack.  The shark was trained to believe a barrier existed between it and the bait fish, so the bait fish swam wherever they wished, free from harm.

The moral:  Many of us, after experiencing setbacks and failures, emotionally give up and stop trying. Like the shark in the story, we believe that because we were unsuccessful in the past, we will always be unsuccessful. In other words, we continue to see a barrier in our heads, even when no ‘real’ barrier exists between where we are and where we want to go. 

Story #4:  Being and Breathing
One warm evening many years ago…

After spending nearly every waking minute with Angel for eight straight days, I knew that I had to tell her just one thing.  So late at night, just before she fell asleep, I whispered it in her ear.  She smiled – the kind of smile that makes me smile back –and she said, “When I’m seventy-five and I think about my life and what it was like to be young, I hope that I can remember this very moment.”

A few seconds later she closed her eyes and fell asleep.  The room was peaceful – almost silent.  All I could hear was the soft purr of her breathing.  I stayed awake thinking about the time we’d spent together and all the choices in our lives that made this moment possible.  And at some point, I realized that it didn’t matter what we’d done or where we’d gone.  Nor did the future hold any significance.
All that mattered was the serenity of the moment.

Just being with her and breathing with her.

The moral:  We must not allow the clock, the calendar, and external pressures to rule our lives and blind us to the fact that each individual moment of our lives is a beautiful mystery and a miracle – especially those moments we spend in the presence of a loved one.

Believe in Yourself
Because the rest of us think you're an idiot.

Mac

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Re: Life's Lessons
« Reply #19 on: May 31, 2013, 06:11:03 am »
How to Live Life to the Fullest

•   Decide what’s important to you. It doesn’t matter what it is. Don’t do what you think people want you to do. Your parents, friends, community, and society in general all have their opinions, but at the end of the day, you’re the only person who will be around for every moment of your life. Do what makes you happy. Everything else will fall into place.

•   Take risks… a lot of them. Sometimes there’s danger involved in life, but every reward carries risk with it. If you never take risks, you’ll never get anywhere in life. When people look back on their lives, they regret the chances they didn’t take more than the ones they did.

•   Tell people you love them. Family will always appreciate hearing you love them. It will brighten a stranger’s day. If you have a romantic interest in someone, just go for it. There are a lot of ways it may end, and only one of them keeps them in your life forever. Just go for it. You have nothing to lose.

•   Live in the present. Your past is important to learn from. Your future is important to work towards. At the end of the day, though, the only thing that exists outside of your head is the present. So think about your past and future, but only dwell on the present.

•   Ignore the haters. No matter what you decide to do with your life, there will always be someone around to point out the many ways you’ll fail. Know that every winner loses, but not every loser wins. Successful people don’t start out successful. What makes them successful is that they keep pushing through failure.

•   Don’t compromise your values. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. Don’t compromise on your internal code of ethics. Life doesn’t work like a movie. It’s filled with gray areas. Trust your instincts. Do whatever you want so long as you can look yourself in the mirror.

•   Do charitable acts for others. Every day, you’ll see someone who could use help. It’s easy to look at a homeless person on the street and think, “I wish I could help him.” What will happen if you do? If you gave $1 to that homeless person every day, you’d be out $365 a year if you worked every day. It doesn’t take much.

•   Keep your mind open. Just because you’re right about something doesn’t mean there aren’t other ways to look at it. Listening to ideas you don’t agree with or understand keeps your brain active and healthy.

•   Speak through your actions. You’ll hear people say, “I had that idea,” every time you see someone create something great. Everyone had the idea for Facebook first. The reason Mark Zuckerberg got rich off of it is because he went out and did it while everyone else was talking about it. Ideas are useless if you don’t act on them.


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Mac

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Re: Life's Lessons
« Reply #20 on: June 02, 2013, 04:37:10 pm »
Actually, some of these I find strange too...

13 Things That Americans Do That The Rest Of The World Just Finds Bizarre

A thread on Reddit asks the question: Non-Americans of reddit, what aspect of American culture strikes you as the strangest?

Some of the answers are pretty hilarious and/or eye-opening.

Here are some of the best:

1. Driving everywhere

How big the country is and the amount of time you guys are willing to drive. I had a friend who drove for 16 hours to visit family for the weekend. It's baffling. -- B_Underscore

2. Being able to buy anything you want at Wal-Mart

A friend came from the UK and he said Wal-mart was the weirdest thing, you could buy 24 rolls of toilet paper and a 12 gauge shotgun in the same store. -- Teaching_man

I was not aware that you can buy guns in supermarkets in America. I thought you had to go to a dedicated gun store for that. Boy was I wrong. -- KevinDevogel

3. Price tags

That the price on things in your stores are not the actual price but the price without tax and such -- 77-97-114-99-111

4. America's weird version of puritanism

You guys can't separate nudity from sex. -- Nionvox

...and extreme violence/gore is considered normal, and shown regularly on TV. It's pretty infuriating to live somewhere where something as natural and beautiful as the human body is viewed as taboo and "corrupts" our youth, but a guy getting his head cut off or getting beaten to death is perfectly okay for kids to watch. We're desensitizing the wrong thing. -- Source

5. CHEESE

Amount of cheese Americans can intake at a time. -- Countsblink

Made Mac n cheese for my aussie cousins. Included 600 grams of cheese. They were floored (and clogged probably) -- Marcvsgrippa

6. Pumpkin everything

Pumpkin flavored things, pumpkin is a vegetable yet it is always in seasonal items in combination with sweet flavors. To me a pumpkin spice coffee is so strange!-- TallGrass2

7. Cheerleaders

...dressing up young girls in short skirts and getting them to dance around and cheer on young men strikes me as odd — preparetodobattle

8. Flags

I work at a summer camp and there is nothing funnier than watching the international counselors be totally weirded out by the flag ceremony we have every morning/evening (5-7 camper colorguard raises flag, salutes, 60-90 people recite pledge and girl scout promise in unison, we turn on our heels and file out silently in the morning, in the evening we fold the flag, sing taps, turn on our heels and file out silently to dinner) — izzielosthermind

9.Taking coffee everywhere

Eating/drinking coffee as you go, to me the best part of eating is sitting down, talking, and relaxing — tallgrass2

10. Being obsessed with your alma mater.

I know this does not apply to everyone but your attachment to your college/university AFTER you have left. The amount of older people I saw on my trip wearing college gear was insane. As well as supporting your college as an alumni. Coming from the UK where a university is used to gain your degree then its a case of thanks for the **** ups, bye! — Fenrir89

I get made fun of all the time in Russia for having an attachment to my college. They just don't get the idea of loyalty to the school. I think it comes from two places: sports, and a sense of community. — Ck14

11. All the pomp and circumstance surrounding prom

I have cousins who live in the US and just hearing about the number of hoops they had to jump through to ask someone to a dance is hilarious. — Saysthingsfromabush

In Scotland our equivalents are ceilidhs and in school you just go and f***ing dance. Concept of building up the courage to ask someone to a ceilidh is simply ridiculous. "hey would you like to come and get bruised with me doing some fast dances to violins?" As is tradition. — Reducto_Absurdum

12. White teeth mania

Americans are obsessed with straight, white teeth. It's like your entire concept of beauty hangs on it. Don't get me wrong, dental hygiene is important, but not everyone needs a perfect Hollywood smile. They look super fake. — Flashnewb

13. Being obsessed with being the best country in the world

many Chinese people do not understand how America can function so "well" since the people here are all so different. We have black, asians, white, hispanics, indians just to name of few and yet we don't have massive in fighting between races or religions. Go to many other countries and the smallest differences in culture, language, and background will almost automatically cause some major issues. — jdavem


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Mac

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Re: Life's Lessons
« Reply #21 on: June 04, 2013, 09:42:21 am »
Brilliant and cruel at the same time...

Cheating Boyfriend Finds Surprisingly Playful Breakup Letter

Quote
Who doesn't love a good breakup? All that vitriol and none of the concern for your partner's feelings.

Take for instance this misleadingly upbeat breakup letter penned to a cheating boyfriend by his scorned significant other: Despite being littered with hearts and cheerful exclamation points, it may just be the most vengeful, angry breakup letter of all time.

Breakups may come and go — but scavenger-hunt breakups are forever.

Believe in Yourself
Because the rest of us think you're an idiot.

Mac

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Re: Life's Lessons
« Reply #22 on: June 21, 2013, 05:40:51 am »
I know some of this stuff really sounds like zen or hippie dippie ****, but instead of instantly judging it, step back and see if it makes sense.

All you have to do is show up and execute.

I just got back from an inspiring couple hours with my friend and Under30CEO contributor Michael Peggs.  Throughout the course of a couple beers, we got into some pretty deep, philosophical stuff about life, business, and the future.  What came of it was this:
Whatever you believe your future to be is true.  You just have to show up.
The problem is: most people just never show up.

Lots of people have big dreams and ambitions, but it’s only the people who execute them who are actually successful.  Everyone else quits, stops showing up, listens to the naysayers, or throws in the towel.  They never push through the struggle or truly act upon what they want to do in life.  Their dreams, stay dreams…
It’s all about your beliefs.

In the most humble way possible, I know what I am “destined” to be.  Not in some bullsh*t way– but I know who I’m going to be because my mind is made up.  Why?  Because my parents raised me with the confidence to make it happen.  My dad always told me “whatever you want to do, you can figure out a way to do it,” and my mom has always thought everything I’ve ever done and will ever do is amazing.  So, as a five year old kid, crushing it at the lemonade stand, I pictured myself in the boardroom overlooking my empire.  Because of these beliefs I know I’m well on my way.

When P. Diddy was asked if he ever doubted himself, after about a three second pause, exuding confidence like only Diddy could, he flat out said no.  The man has never shown doubt in himself.

As Thomas Edison said, “The most certain way to succeed is always just to try one more time.” 
It’s the damn truth.  You just have to show up and try one more time.  Sure, being successful takes incredible sacrifice, the ability to go through hardship, and a high tolerance for pain…. so, if you don’t believe that you have what it takes to go through this, then give up now.  But, if you’ve always truly believed you were going to make it big, then you are already that person.  Congrats.  You might not be to the end goal yet, but you’ve made it.

Stop Stressing

Over the last six weeks, I’ve never been more stressed in my life launching our members-only travel platform, Under30Experiences.  When Peggs asked me why I was so stressed, I had no answer.  We came to the conclusion that I want it to be successful so badly that I was literally working myself to the point of insanity.  If you’ve read my health and fitness content lately, on going beast mode, or increasing productivity, you know I believe as much as anyone that stress will kill you.  I sure as hell don’t want to grow old quicker than I have to.  So it’s time to stop stressing.  Here’s how…

First, understand where stress comes from.

It’s quite simple– stress comes from thinking about things in the future that you can’t currently control.  You’re late for work.  Well, guess what– you’re already late.  Sure, you can control how late you are by blowing through traffic lights, but guess what, it’s already been decided– you are going to be late.  You have two options at this juncture– stress about it or don’t.  TRY your hardest to chose the later.  Remember, you are already that insanely successful person if that’s what you believe– you don’t have to stress about it.
Secondly, understand that you’re already late for work and what is done is done.

Want to understand this concept?  Educate yourself and watch the Ghandi documentary on Netflix.  There is a part where the narrator says, “how would you look at a glass of water if you knew the glass was already spilled?”  You wouldn’t freak out when the glass spilled; a spilled glass of water isn’t a big deal.  That’s what Ghandi believed.  Just like when Neo goes to see the Oracle in the Matrix.  The Oracle already knows the vase is broken and doesn’t care.  You look at the world a whole lot differently when you have the mindset of a person who already knows what is going to happen- in this case– that you are successful.

Lastly, understand the concept of being present.

I used to think this hippie term was some esoteric thing, until I read Leo Babauta’s post via Zen Habits on being mindful.  It’s all about focusing your thoughts and energy into the present time.  Instead of thinking about how your boss is going to yell at you, suck it up, and enjoy the ride you are on at the present time.  Appreciate the fact your car is working, and that you are blessed to even have a job.  If you are present, then you’ll again remember– you are on your way of becoming that successful person and this is just a bump in the road.  Enjoy the journey.

Imagine a world where you believe you are successful.
All you have to do is show up and execute.

Believe in Yourself
Because the rest of us think you're an idiot.

Mac

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Re: Life's Lessons
« Reply #23 on: June 27, 2013, 10:05:15 am »
Is Smartphone Photography Killing Our Memories and Experiences?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMVBkawC1Hc

Quote

Is Smartphone Photography Killing Our Memories and Experiences?

If you’ve gone to a concert or public event or even certain art openings recently, you’ll notice that something is amiss. In the past, people would look, enjoy and try their best to experience the moment when they attended such things. Now, many of them are doing their best to craft the most likeable smartphone photo.

The BBC’s Newsnight is troubled by this trend, and so they set out to discover if the smartphone photography movement is doing more harm than good.

One of the examples Newsnight’s Stephen Smith uses to illustrate the point is this viral comparison photo from earlier this year. At the top we have the view at the Vatican as people bid farewell to Pope John Paul II in 2005, and at the bottom the same ceremony for Pope Benedict XVI in 2013. Which crowd do you think remembers their experience best?



Quote
It could be that the 2013 crowd with their pictures and videos will remember the moment best simply because they have a record of it. But it’s also possible that they only actually experienced the moment on their smartphone or tablet screen at the time, not truly engaging with it.

It’s an interesting question that the report takes on from several angles — enlisting the help of curators, musicians and even a psychologist specializing in narcissism — and we’d like your input as well. What’s your take? Is smartphone photography killing our memories and experiences, or just helping us preserve them?
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Mac

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Re: Life's Lessons
« Reply #24 on: July 02, 2013, 07:13:53 am »
9 Negative Social Habits to Quit Today

Quote
There’s something to be said for slow and steady progress.  But there’s also something to be said for strong, decisive, sweeping action.  When it comes to bad, self-defeating habits, there’s no time like today to quit cold turkey.  For some reason I’ve been more aware lately of the annoying social habits of other people.  Worse than that, I’ve then been noticing many of the same behaviors in myself.  Cutting out these negative habits makes it simpler to foster good relationships by getting to the heart of productive communication, so why not start today?


1.  Seeking attention by complaining.

I spoke to someone yesterday who all but refused to talk about the positive aspects of their life.  After listening to their troubles, I asked about some of the cool projects they have going on.  Within two sentences, they were back to complaining about trivial things.  We all need to share our troubles with friends or strangers from time to time, but don’t fall into the habit of turning conversations into your own personal dumping ground 100 percent of the time.  It’s an easy way to get attention, but it’s a poor way to keep it; and it’s a poor way to view your life.

2.  Focusing on your inner monologue instead of the dialogue in front of you.


“Holy crap!  That’s a great idea.  Wow.  What can I say that will sound smart and clever?  I really hope they think I’m intelligent.  I could touch on symbolism or make a reference to post-modernism.  Wait – what did they just ask me?”  Stay focused on the other person’s words and points.  People rarely mind when you say, “Hmm. Let me think about that for a second.”  Quite the opposite, since it shows that you’re taking the conversation seriously.  If you compose your answers while someone else is speaking, you’re really only having half a conversation.  Read Just Listen .

3.  Multi-tasking while you chat.

Even if you are a professional multi-tasker, if you’re talking to someone, talk to them, and that’s it.  Don’t browse online, don’t watch TV, don’t update your to-do list, and please, don’t eat while you’re on the phone.  Whether they say so or not, it really annoys the person you’re talking to.  If you really don’t have the time to talk, be honest and find another time, or cut it short.

4.  Not paying attention to the people you care about most.

Pretending to listen while your mind wanders to your work day, etc.  Do you really think your loved ones can’t tell?  They can.  And even more importantly, they need you to listen sincerely and thoughtfully.  There is no greater gift of love and no greater expression of caring that you can offer the special people in your life, than your undivided time and attention.  You need to remember that ‘love’ is listening, and everyone wants to be heard.  Read The 5 Love Languages .

5.  Constantly fishing for compliments.

“Oh, I look terrible today.” – after someone compliments you.  “I just threw it together at the last minute.” – when you obviously dressed up.  “I’m really not good at things like this.” – when the people you’re with know you are.  Please.  Stop.  It’s not flattering.  Read Changing Behavior .

6.  De-emphasizing compliments with self-effacing remarks.

It’s okay to say “thank you” when you’re complimented.  By making a self-effacing comment, you nearly force the other person to repeat their compliment, which is not a gracious thing to do.  Acknowledging a compliment isn’t snobby – like you’re admitting that you think you’re just grand – it’s a simple courtesy.  Besides, you earned it.  Saying “thank you” not only makes the other person feel good, it’s a healthy reminder that you’re responsible for some really good things in your life.

7.  Cutting people off mid-sentence.


The only time this is okay is when you’re in an intense brainstorming session.  Or you’ve got an urgent situation to attend to.  Or you haven’t seen your best friend in months.  Okay, so this habit is kind of elastic, but you get the gist.  Most of the time, interrupting just means that you’re missing the best parts of the conversation.  Plus, you’re showing your chat partner that you value your own thoughts over theirs.

8.  An unsupportive attitude.

The greatest compliment you can give to someone is to believe in them and let them know you care.  When you see something true, good and beautiful in someone, don’t hesitate to express your appreciation.  When you see something that is not true, good and beautiful in someone, don’t neglect to give them your wholehearted blessings and best wishes.

9.  Trying to please everyone.

This one is about keeping your sanity.  No matter how loud their opinions are, others cannot choose who you are.  The question should not be, “Why don’t they like me when I’m being me?” it should be, “Why am I wasting all my time and energy worrying what they think of me?”  If you are not hurting anyone with your actions, keep moving forward with your life.  Be happy.  Be yourself.  If others don’t like it, let them be.  Life isn’t about pleasing everybody.  (Marc and I discuss this in more detail in the Relationships chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)

Afterthoughts and Questions


Obviously we all slip up sometimes, so don’t berate yourself when you do.  On occasion, I too have been guilty of every single one of these negative social habits.
So with that said, I’d love to hear your thoughts.  Any bad habits you’d like to add to the list?  Any exceptions that matter?  Please continue the conversation by leaving a comment below.

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Because the rest of us think you're an idiot.

Mac

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Re: Life's Lessons
« Reply #25 on: August 01, 2013, 02:24:19 pm »
How to Quit Your Job Like Sherwood Anderson: The Best Resignation Letter Ever Written

“He is a nice fellow. We will let him down easy but let’s can him.”

Like a number of celebrated creators — including Dr. Seuss, F. Scott Fitzgerald, and Wendy MacNaughton — Sherwood Anderson started out in advertising to make ends meet, first as an advertising solicitor, then as an ad salesman and copywriter for farming equipment, and eventually as a copywriter in Chicago-based advertising agency Taylor Critchfield Co. until he became a successful novelist at the age of 41. Though he was man of timeless, profound insight on the creative life and the originator of some of history’s finest fatherly advice, he was also a man of masterful humor and remarkable wit. In 1918, when the time came to free himself from the shackles of the corporate world and plunge wholeheartedly into his craft, Anderson wrote what’s possibly the best letter of resignation ever penned.


    Dear Barton:

    You have a man in your employ that I have thought for a long time should be fired. I refer to Sherwood Anderson. He is a fellow of a good deal of ability, but for a long time I have been convinced that his heart is not in his work.

    There is no question but that this man Anderson has in some ways been an ornament to our organization. His hair, for one thing, being long and messy gives an artistic carelessness to his personal appearance that somewhat impresses such men as Frank Lloyd Wright and Mr. Curtiniez of Kalamazoo when they come into the office.

    But Anderson is not really productive. As I have said his heart is not in his work. I think he should be fired and if you will not do the job I should like permission to fire him myself. I therefore suggest that Anderson be asked to sever his connections with the company on [the first of next week]. He is a nice fellow. We will let him down easy but let’s can him.

    Respectfully submitted,

    Sherwood Anderson
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Mac

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Re: Life's Lessons
« Reply #26 on: August 15, 2013, 10:32:45 am »
45 Things I Know at 45 (That I Didn’t Know at 25)

45 things I wish I’d known a lot sooner. And as your birthday gift to me, all I ask is that you consider putting some of them to good use.

1. It’s not all about you.
2. Life is a boomerang. What you put out there eventually comes back to you.
3. You’re only as bad-ass as you allow yourself to be. Stop waiting for permission.
4. Living someone else’s dream will surely kill your chance of living yours. Don’t do it.
5. Dimming your light to make others feel more comfortable doesn’t serve you. Or them.
6. Don’t worry so much about what other people think about you. They’re usually thinking about themselves, anyway.
7. Feelings are temporary and always changing. Wait 24 hours before you make the call or hit “send.”
8. Fast friendships are usually fleeting. Lifelong friendships take years to build.
9. People and relationships are in our lives for a reason. Either a lesson or a blessing.
10. Another person will never complete you. Only you can do that.
11. Boyfriends and husbands are lovely. Close girlfriends are gold.
12. Chocolate makes everything better.
13. Minimize or eliminate time with people who drain you. Instead, spend time with those who love, support and care for you.
14. You must use your voice, speak up and speak out. No one will do it for you.
15. You’ll never change a narcissist or a hater, so direct your energy elsewhere.
16. People do things for their reasons, not yours. Don’t take it personally. (Thanks, Dad.)
17. Stop comparing yourself to others. It’s more than ok to be an original. In fact, it’s preferable.
18. No amount of designer handbags or shoes is going to make you happy in the long run.
19. The same goes for chocolate chip cookies.
20. Get over yourself. The next time you find yourself having a pity party, ask, “how can I be of service to someone in need?”
21. Use the good china.
22. Never trust anyone who is unkind to animals. Or rude to the waiter.
23. Good skin is one part genetics and two parts preventative care, so wear sunscreen. Daily.
24. If diets worked, we wouldn’t have an obesity epidemic. Focus on your health and you’ll never have to worry about your weight.
25. Get some physical exercise every day. See #24.
26. Your mind and body are the same: what you put in is what comes out.
27. Nobody really loves you for the size of your waistline.
28. Worrying about something that might happen is wasted energy.
29. Black and white is an illusion. Life is gray.
30. Forgiveness is hard work, but it’s the only path to peace.
31. Go within. Your spiritual muscles need exercise as much as your physical ones do.
32. You can’t completely eliminate fear, but you can learn to manage it.
33. 95% of the time, fear is a sign post for growth.
34. The joy of mastery resides on the other side of fear.
35. It hurts more NOT to do it.
36. Money likes to be paid attention to. If you’re not paying attention, it will wreak havoc in your life.
37. A family isn’t just something you’re born into, it’s something you create.
38. Don’t just take their word for it. Question authority, do your research and know your rights.
39. Don’t believe everything you think.
40. Small minds focus on problems. Big thinkers focus on solutions.
41. Doing epic **** is hard work.
42. It’s easy to be mediocre. Extraordinary takes balls.
43. 98% of people are on the path of least resistance. Forging your own path is revolutionary.
44. You don’t know until you know.
45. Love is the answer.
Believe in Yourself
Because the rest of us think you're an idiot.

Chiprocks1

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Re: Life's Lessons
« Reply #27 on: September 14, 2013, 07:49:52 am »
Dad Wears Short Shorts to Teach Daughter a Lesson

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2i2yVbz5EY

If you are willing to take the brunt of the snickering just to make a point, this is a great way to get it across without having to publicly shame another person to do it.
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Michael Scott To Meredith: "You've slept with so many men, your starting to look like one. BOOM! Roasted! Go here.

Mac

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Re: Life's Lessons
« Reply #28 on: September 14, 2013, 03:46:05 pm »
Awesome, Dad
Believe in Yourself
Because the rest of us think you're an idiot.

Chiprocks1

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Re: Life's Lessons
« Reply #29 on: November 28, 2013, 10:06:50 am »
Woman writes love letters that change lives

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_L5T85l78og
Chip's Rockin' Art
Michael Scott To Meredith: "You've slept with so many men, your starting to look like one. BOOM! Roasted! Go here.

 

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