In a monologue reminiscent of Miss South Carolina’s verbal diarrhea during the 2007 Miss Teen USA competition, Sarah Palin has issued a nonsensical rant on liberals, fast food, Elizabeth Warren and hell.

Palin recorded the bizarre segment for her new online subscription channel, so presumably she knew that she was talking in front of a camera, to communicate with other human beings. Here are the remarks she made in response to a recent speech by Massachusetts Sen. Elizabeth Warren:

    “We believe”? Wait, I thought fast food joints…huh. Don’t you guys think that they’re like of the Devil or somethin’ I was. Liberals, you want to send those evil employees who would dare work at a fast food joint then ya just don’t believe in, thought you wanted to, I dunno, send them to Purgatory or somethin’ so they all go VEGAN and, uh, wages and picket lines I dunno they’re not often discussed in Purgatory, are they? I dunno why are you even worried about fast food wages because…Well, we believe an America where minimum wage jobs they’re not lifetime gigs they’re stepping stone.”

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Oh God It's Mom

Washington — On Monday night’s “Daily Show,” Jon Stewart charged that guest Mike Huckabee is a hypocrite because the former Arkansas governor objects to Beyoncé as “crude” but happily appears onstage with vulgar shock rocker Ted Nugent.

“You excuse that type of crudeness because you agree with [Mr. Nugent’s] stand on firearms. You don’t approve of Beyoncé because she seems alien to you,” Mr. Stewart said in a face-to-face challenge to the likely 2016 GOP presidential contender.

Mr. Huckabee’s problems with Beyoncé are well known. In his new book, he charges that Beyoncé’s spouse, rapper Jay Z, is “arguably crossing the line from husband to pimp” in the way he promotes the singer’s career. Huckabee has called Beyoncé’s sexually charged lyrics “mental poison” and criticized President Obama and first lady Michelle Obama for allowing their daughters to listen to Beyoncé's music.
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On "The Daily Show,” Huckabee elaborated on his belief that the singer is not a fit role model for young girls.

“Do you know any parent who has a daughter that says, ‘Honey, if you make really good grades, someday when you are 12 or 13 we’ll get you your own stripper pole. I mean come on, Jon, we don’t do that in our culture,” said Huckabee.

Then Stewart dragged out his riposte. It was a clip of Huck himself playing electric bass on his old Fox News show with Nugent, playing the song “Cat Scratch Fever.” Nugent sang some lyrics we won’t repeat here because they put the “double” in “double-entendre.”

Huckabee’s response? He said that Nugent’s song had not been nominated for a Grammy in the year it was released. We guess the point there is that Beyoncé is way more popular and lionized, so her transgressions are worse? Also, Nugent’s song is “an adult song geared for adults, but today we have a very different kind of depiction and things that are considered perfectly OK for kids, and that’s the difference,” Huckabee said.

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