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Will you see R.I.P.D. in the theater?

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Author Topic: R.I.P.D. (2013)  (Read 19 times)

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Chiprocks1

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R.I.P.D. (2013)
« on: June 24, 2013, 01:56:41 pm »
R.I.P.D.

Trailer #1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X07xNrVd7DU

This looks f*cking awesome! I never thought I say that about a movie with Ryan Reynolds in it. Jeff Bridges for the win!!
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Neumatic

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Re: R.I.P.D. (2013)
« Reply #1 on: June 24, 2013, 02:27:12 pm »
I remember my sister working on this movie a thousand years ago.  I still can't believe it's not out yet.

Mac

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Re: R.I.P.D. (2013)
« Reply #2 on: August 01, 2013, 02:33:28 pm »
Well this got slammed very quickly and just one of the summer's major flops.

The Pitch Meeting for ‘R.I.P.D.’

STUDIO EXEC #1: Listen, fellas. I’m just gonna say it. I want out. I’m tired of the business. I don’t want to work here anymore.
STUDIO EXEC #2: I hear you, man. The three-hour workdays, the constant parties, the unending stream of **** flowing through my blood at all times — it’s too much.
STUDIO EXEC #3: I’m with you guys. I thought I had what it takes to be a studio executive, but I don’t. I’m not cut out for it! I don’t enjoy sleeping with starlets!
STUDIO EXEC #1: All the celebrity butts we have to kiss!
STUDIO EXEC #2: All the pandering to the audience!
STUDIO EXEC #3: Good grief, the pandering!
STUDIO EXEC #2: I can’t remember the last time I said something out loud that was actually true.
STUDIO EXEC #1: Let’s make a pact. Let’s get fired. All three of us.
STUDIO EXEC #2: I’m in.
STUDIO EXEC #3: Me too.
STUDIO EXEC #1: Next pitch we hear, no matter what it is, we greenlight it, we make it a disaster, and we get out.
STUDIO EXEC #2: Let’s do it.
STUDIO EXEC #1: Nameless secretary, send in whoever looks like they have the worst idea.

(Sound of someone entering, greetings exchanged, complimentary **** offered)

YOUNG PRODUCER: Gentlemen! Hello! Thanks for seeing me. I’ve got something I know you’ll love!
STUDIO EXEC #1: I can’t promise we’ll love it, but I can promise we’ll spend a hundred million dollars on it.
YOUNG PRODUCER: Terrific! It’s based on a comic book…
STUDIO EXEC #2: A promising start!
STUDIO EXEC #3: I thought we called them graphic novels now.
STUDIO EXEC #1: I still call them “the funny papers”!
STUDIO EXEC #3: Is it Archie & Jughead??
YOUNG PRODUCER: It’s about a police officer who gets killed–
STUDIO EXEC #2: Two weeks before retirement? Sold!
YOUNG PRODUCER: No, he’s young, but he gets killed and has to join the undead police force, arresting souls that died but somehow escaped eternal judgment and are hiding on earth.
STUDIO EXEC #1: Wait, so he’s going around busting ghosts?
STUDIO EXEC #3: Like some kind of “ghost-buster,” if you will?
YOUNG PRODUCER: Sort of. Only we won’t explain it very well or really lay out how this world works. And he has a grumpy old partner who’s been doing this a long time and shows him the ropes.
STUDIO EXEC #2: Ugh, I’m so tired of movies where two cops are assigned to work together who have totally compatible personalities and attitudes and get along nicely.
STUDIO EXEC #1: Me too. Please tell me you’re trying something different.
YOUNG PRODUCER: What if I told you the young dead cop and older dead cop disagree about a lot of things?
STUDIO EXEC #1: I would pee myself, that’s what!
YOUNG PRODUCER: Well, batten down the hatches, because that’s exactly what happens! They argue, they bicker, they have different viewpoints, they butt heads.
STUDIO EXEC #2: Brilliant!
STUDIO EXEC #3: Like some kind of “odd couple,” as it were.



STUDIO EXEC #1: Now, I’m all for shaking up the formula, but if the two cops don’t like each other, won’t it be hard for the audience to like them?
YOUNG PRODUCER: I thought of that! So get this, over the course of the movie, they gradually … come to like each other.
STUDIO EXEC #2: This is perfect.
STUDIO EXEC #3: This is literally a perfect movie.
STUDIO EXEC #1: I thought “Good Burger” was a perfect movie, but “Good Burger” was “Cop and a Half” compared to this.
YOUNG PRODUCER: You guys really like it?
STUDIO EXEC #2: It’s exactly what we’re looking for.
YOUNG PRODUCER: Awesome! So the two dead cops have to thwart a plan to let the dead take over the world, and along the way they barge around the city eliminating the misbehaving ghosts.
STUDIO EXEC #1: How do they kill them when they’re already dead?
YOUNG PRODUCER: Eh, laser gun or something.
STUDIO EXEC #1: Got it.
STUDIO EXEC #2: It sounds a lot like “Men in Black,” doesn’t it?
STUDIO EXEC #1: Not that that’s a problem!
STUDIO EXEC #1: No, of course! I’m just making an observation.
STUDIO EXEC #3: The marketing department always likes to know ahead of time which movies we’re ripping off so they can plan strategies that will remind people of those movies.
STUDIO EXEC #1: Unless we’re ripping off a movie nobody liked! Then the marketing department prefers to hide the similarities.
STUDIO EXEC #2: It’s all very complicated.
STUDIO EXEC #3: It would take a scientist to explain.
YOUNG PRODUCER: It is like “Men in Black,” but with one crucial difference: “Men in Black” had bankable stars who could open a movie.
STUDIO EXEC #1: Who do you have lined up for this?
YOUNG PRODUCER: Ryan Reynolds and Jeff Bridges!
STUDIO EXEC #3: Green Lantern and Preston Tucker??
STUDIO EXEC #2: Van Wilder and The Dude??
STUDIO EXEC #1: The guy from “Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place” and Lightfoot from “Thunderbolt and Lightfoot”??
YOUNG PRODUCER: The very same. There’s just one teensy problem with Jeff Bridges. And maybe it won’t even be a problem.
STUDIO EXEC #1: What is it?
YOUNG PRODUCER: He’s still in character from “True Grit,” and he refuses to stop.

STUDIO EXEC #1: Not a problem.
STUDIO EXEC #2: That’s perfect, actually. We wanted to make a “True Grit” sequel, and this will be a good way of sneaking it in without having to buy the rights.
STUDIO EXEC #3: Oh, did we give up on doing that officially? I was looking forward to “2rue Grit.”
YOUNG PRODUCER: My vision for the movie would cost about $130 million to make, but the special effects would still be cheesy and unconvincing.
STUDIO EXEC #1: I like it. The audience won’t be expecting that.
STUDIO EXEC #2: They’ll be expecting something that looks well-made, and it will be a fun surprise when it isn’t.
STUDIO EXEC #3: Audiences love waste!
STUDIO EXEC #1: What’s it called, anyway?
YOUNG PRODUCER: “R.I.P.D.”
STUDIO EXEC #2: Rhode Island Police Department?
YOUNG PRODUCER: No…
STUDIO EXEC #1: Rhode Island Parks Department?
YOUNG PRODUCER: No…
STUDIO EXEC #3: Oh, I get it — R.I.P.D., because Ryan Reynolds is RIPPED!
YOUNG PRODUCER: No, it’s “Rest in Peace Department”! That’s what the police department for the dead is called!
STUDIO EXEC #1: Oh.
STUDIO EXEC #2: Huh.
STUDIO EXEC #3: Well.
STUDIO EXEC #2: That’s really bad.
STUDIO EXEC #1: Yeah. Well, look, if we’re gonna do this, we might as well go all the way.
YOUNG PRODUCER: Go all the way with what?
STUDIO EXEC #1: Nothing! Young man, you’ve got yourself a deal!
STUDIO EXEC #2: We’re excited to go forward with this!
STUDIO EXEC #3: I only wish we’d gotten to “The Lone Ranger” first.
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