I love getting to read about your music endeavors. The more you get out there and audition or just playing with other players for the sake of playing, you are going to find that it becomes easier and easier and you will 'fret' less and less with each one. When that happens, I think your outlook will change, especially your playing. I don't know if you're playing tight and how would I. But I do know that when I've gone out and been in the same situation, my playing was handcuffed. But as soon as it became second nature, I just felt more at ease which only helped my playing.