First audition... (from a letter I wrote to my friend and bassist).
Hey Bango,
I thought I would relate to you a funny story that happened to me over the weekend. It wasn’t funny at the time… but it is now.
I went to audition for a band this past Sunday. It was out in Union. That wasn’t really too bad of a long drive. So I’m coming up on the destination and I see very little. A huge concrete silo and at first I didn’t even notice the mobile home. So I drove on and nothing. So I drove back and past the mobile home. Nah, that can’t be the place. So I stopped and asked someone outside and sure enough, the mobile home was the place. Gahhhhhhh. It’s a **** hole. Crap laying everywhere. Couch and chair on the deck, old trucks and cars, sans wheels everywhere. Oh, this is gonna be good. Totally Redneck
As I pull up close I do hear music, but it’s coming from across the drive out of this little storage unit. Sure enough, the band was inside this 10 X 12 metal shack that he just put up. It did have insulation stuffed in the ceiling. If you recall, Sunday was the day it started off at 70 and dropped like a rock through the day. By the time the audition ended, I was froze. I ended the audition. I could only imagine what it would be like in the middle of winter. Ya NO!!!!
Like Colorblind Chameleon, I’m relying on the band’s PA system. (Thanks Tony for setting the bar high… LOL). I was horrified to find they had only few very old speakers. None could handle my kit properly. They fiddled with the settings and best they could get was a thud on kick, a hallow snare and little else. No high end. Once the guitarist’s started… I couldn’t hear a damn thing out of my kit. They said they could and were happy. I think they were lying. I couldn’t hear dick. I played everything by memory or how I thought the song went.
They played some good old songs, but not much I wanted to pursue. They played decent. Needed work.
Then one of the guys broke out a cigarette. Oh crap. Thankfully the shack doors were wide open. Then the other guys started to smoke. It got to me. An hour later, they asked if I cared about them smoking. I said no. They asked if I smoked. I said no. They asked if smoking bothers me. I said yes. But told them to smoke away. The door is open and there is no way in hell, I’ll be playing with you guys any further. I didn’t say that out loud. They then proceeded to tell me how out in the county, there is not anti-smoking laws. Everywhere they play will be a smoke filled bar. That nailed that coffin shut. Shortly after I called it a day and left.
I was honest with the guy and told him I had to decline because the idea playing in a smoke filled bar was not going to happen.
So I learned lessons.
Anyway, thought you’d appreciate a goofy story of my first attempt into auditioning for a band.