Author Topic: Random Funny Sh*t  (Read 2255 times)

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Re: Random Funny Sh*t
« on: July 09, 2012, 01:02:52 pm »
Final Examination

Instructions:  Read each question carefully.  Answer all
questions.  Time Limit:  4 hours.  Begin immediately.

1) H I S T O R Y

Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the
present day, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on
its social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical
impact on Europe, Asia, America, and Africa.  Be brief, concise,
and specific.

2) M E D I C I N E

You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and
a bottle of Scotch.  Remove your appendix.  Do not suture until
your work has been inspected.  You have 15 minutes.

3) P U B L I C S P E A K I N G

Twenty-five hundred riot-crazed aborigines are storming the
classroom.  Calm them.  You may use any ancient language except
Latin or Greek.

4) B I O L O G Y

Create life.  Estimate the differences in subsequent human
culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years
earlier, with special attention to its probable effect on the
English parliamentary system.  Prove your thesis.

5) M U S I C

Write a piano concerto.  Orchestrate and perform it with flute
and drum.  You will find a piano under your seat.

6) P S Y C H O L O G Y

Based on your degree of knowledge of their works, evaluate the
emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed
frustrations of each of the following:  Alexander of Aphrodisias,
Rameses II, Gregory of Nicea, Hammurabi.  Support your
evaluations with quotations from each man's work, making
appropriate references.  It is not necessary to translate.

7) S O C I O L O G Y

Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end
of the world.  Construct an experiment to test your theory.

8) M A N A G E M E N T  S C I E N C E

Define management.  Define science.  How do they relate?  Why?
Create a generalized algorithm to optimize all managerial
decisions.  Assuming an 1130 CPU supporting 50 terminals, each
terminal to activate your algorithm; design the communications
interface and all necessary control programs.

9) E N G I N E E R I N G

The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed
in a box onyour desk.  You will also find an instruction manual,
printed in Swahili.  In ten minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be
admitted to the room.  Take whatever action you feel is
appropriate.  Be prepared to justify your decision.

10) E C O N O M I C S

Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt.
Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas:
Cubism, the Donatist controversy, the wave theory of light.
Outline a method for preventing these effects.  Criticize this
method from all possible points of view.  Point out the
deficiencies in your point of view, as demonstrated in your
answer to the last question.

11) P O L I T I C A L  S C I E N C E

There is a red telephone on the desk beside you.  Start World War
III.  Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.

12) E P I S T E M O L O G Y

Take a position for or against truth.  Prove the validity of your

13) P H Y S I C S

Explain the nature of matter.  Include in your answer an
evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on

14) P H I L O S O P H Y

Sketch the development of human thought; estimate its
significance.  Compare with the development of any other kind of

15) G E N E R A L  K N O W L E D G E

Describe in detail.  Be objective and specific.

* * E X T R A C R E D I T * *

Define the universe; give three examples.
Believe in Yourself
Because the rest of us think you're an idiot.


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