Refi

Author Topic: RED SKELTON'S RECIPE  (Read 13 times)

0 Members and 0 Guests are viewing this topic.

Mac

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 9913
  • Dewey Cheatham & Howe LLP
  • Location: Little Ol Town in the Midwest
    • View Profile
RED SKELTON'S RECIPE
« on: January 31, 2013, 12:50:20 pm »
RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR A PERFECT MARRIAGE

For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you will enjoy  this e-mail. For those of you not old enough you will see what you missed.     Either way, his humor was always clean and he was a great entertainer. A re-run of great 'one liners' from the man who was known for his clean humor. I hope you get a chuckle or two reading them once more.

 
RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

 
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a Little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

 
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California , and mine is in Tennessee ..

 
3. I take my wife everywhere, But she keeps finding her way back.

 
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

 
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

 
6. She has an electric blender, electric Toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place To sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

 
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well Because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."

 
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

 
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late For the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".

 
10. Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

 
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her First name was 'Always'.

 
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

 
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!".

 
Can't you just hear him say all of these?

 
I love it. These were the good old days when humor Didn't have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun. And he always ended his programs with the words,

 
"And May God Bless" with a big smile on his face.
Believe in Yourself
Because the rest of us think you're an idiot.

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter


 

Automatic Image Resize Code