Excuse me, by this theory you're getting Eliza as a stripper (theoretically) and Kristin Bell as a young sexy car wash chick (again, theoretically). I think it's just showing how unfamiliar I am with current actresses, which is so weird b/c I don't think I am.
Maybe Isla Fisher or Grace Park... but really, I feel like I should go younger and... dumber. Obviously Kristin is the clever ringleader who might be ripping 'em off or working some scheme.